The year after I graduated from college, I moved to Boston and worked as a nanny while attending graduate school at night. I loved the job but loathed the programming for the child. His parents were adamant that he watch Tellatubbies in the morning and Barney in that afternoon. They had it written on the schedule, so it had to be done. I was deep into my punk rock years and wasn’t having it. So when the parents weren’t around, I turned the TV off and played the young boy mix CDs I had stayed up way too late making the night before. We had living room dance parties to jazz and classical, indie rock, and folk music. I played actual music, and you know what? He loved it! His face lit up when I reached into my bag and pulled out a new CD. On car rides, he’d ask for music in the best way his two-year-old self could, and we’d drive and listen to music. Like an unspoken connection that only he and I knew about. I later told his parents about the CDs I made and left them with them when I decided to move to Seattle and leave the family behind. The joy on their son’s face as he watched me pass the stack from my hands to his moms was life-affirming, and introducing him to that music was absolutely the right move. His parents were overjoyed and honestly didn’t know that shows like Teletubbies and Barney, while harmless enough, weren’t teaching their son anything. They were both Harvard professors and brilliant but, admittedly, were utterly winging it when it came to young children.
Fast forward to becoming a parent, and I promised myself that I would never allow my son to settle into music only made for a child. So we’ve been playing him music from many different genres since he was about two weeks old. I remember him dancing to the beat of Tycho at just a few months old and requesting Miles Davis at about 15 months old. Children learn so much from listening to music. Studies show how wonderful the effects of music are on the brain and vital to childhood development.
I tell you all this because many parents drive themselves mad listening to songs like Baby Shark. You don’t have to do that to yourselves. I promise your child will be ok listening to real music, which doesn’t repeat repeatedly and has no real value. It’s like eating the stale version of something when there’s an incredibly fresh and delicious version sitting next to it on the counter.
I’m a music snob, sorry. But, knowing what great music is out there, I couldn’t bring myself to play lousy music for my son.
For us, the long-term effects are significant. Since Tom was five, he’s been asking for piano lessons. We finally found a teacher for him last year, and he’s thriving at the instrument and learning to read music. He’s also taken to making his own playlists on Spotify. Here’s another if you want to listen to his mood.
I’ll leave you with one more story about how music affects our lives, and I promise it’s a good one.
When Tom was 11 months old, we had dinner with some friends before our flight out of town. We sat at the table and talked; Tom was babbling in his highchair. Then, the server walked by and said, “Is your baby signing along to Zombie [by The Cranberries]?” I stopped talking, looked at Tom, listened to the music playing above our heads, and said, “Yes. Yes, I think he is.”
Tom had never heard that song before, but somehow was singing along in the best way he could since he wasn’t talking yet. He literally learned to sing before he could speak.
I’d love to hear what you like to listen to with your children. And if you don’t have children, what music are you listening to these days? Please tell me some of your new favorites in the comments below. I linked my Spotify profile below if you’d like to see what we’ve been playing a lot of.
Until next time…
-Erin